So, I’ve been thinking a lot about healing, limits, and boundaries the last two weeks. Specifically since June 2 of this year. See, I woke up that day, and my body refused to cooperate. I just couldn’t keep going. I got up, had breakfast, then went back to sleep.
Normally, I’d attribute that to depression. Except the emotional base didn’t hold up. My physical body just refused to keep going. Refused to do anything but sleep, and possibly Minecraft. I tried even tried Facebook, and came up with nothing. I couldn’t care, or hardly type. I went back to bed. The next three days, I slept between 10.5 and 12 hours a day. I usually sleep around 8. I’m still sleeping close to 9. The doctor used the word Fatigue. I used a different word.
When you burn out the transmission on a car, what happens? It stops. It’s done. You need a new transmission. Or a new car. Whichever’s less expensive. Well, as humans, we can’t just exchange our bodies for a new model when we reach our breaking point. That’s where healing comes in. We have an incredible capacity for it. The problem is, so many of us (until we learn otherwise) are like that kid who gets sick and, after two days on antibiotic, feels better and doesn’t want to take it anymore.
I thought I’d escaped, but I fell into the same trap. Mask the symptoms with caffeine, pain killers, and other pills. Then we decided to move, and I burned the roof of my mouth – which proceeded to get infected, just to spite me, of course – and then on the second, I crashed. After twenty-four months of a life altering decision or event or more a month (Yes, I’m serious. I counted. Pick your jaw up off the floor.) I was done.
So now, it’s time I let myself heal. I got burned to proverbial ashes again. In fact, two weeks ago, I kinda looked like this.
The best part is, neither Human nor Phoenix need stay in the ash and coal, though. We take the time to care for our health, listen to the wisdom of those who’ve been trained to help us and do care for our well-being, and we can rise again. In my case, it’ll probably look something like this.
And remember, wise words come from strange places. Thank you, Princess Bride villain, “If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.”