What do Drow, Humans, and Phoenixes have in common? Emotions. Some days, these raging internal infernos can power miraculous feats of awesome. Others, I’m reminded of the painful truth that I am neither Data, nor a Cyberman. Like the Star Trek android, I do not have a chip that gives me these rivers of blood and fire in my heart, that can be shut off on a whim. Nor am I that horrifying Doctor Who villain that was once Human, and now lives, emotionally dead, in a metal and organic wire husk, living only to fulfill programming.
Why bother saying any of this? Because, though I enjoy acting on a stage, or in a crowded tavern, flirting with the ladies, I’m not great at acting okay when the world falls apart. Well, when my world falls apart. My mother informed me she’s on the brink of a second divorce, and whether or not that happens, I came face to face with those demons born of rage and hate that clawed their way to the surface the first time. It’s rough. However, it’s not going to stop me. I made the reflex save, and though I’m not certain where exactly I’m standing now, there’s at least one piece of solid ground leading into the distance.
That solid ground consists of my own marriage, my writing, and my stubborn determination that, even if I do need to pull a Phoenix again, and completely rebuild (ideally not necessary), I will not stop. I’ve spent too much time moping and giving up, and that’s not happening this time. So what am I going to do?
Keep fighting. Keep moving. I’ve got the pencils, and the sketchpad, and I will draw my own life. I hope you’ll come along for the ride, but if not, that’s fine. You’ve got your own life to create. Yes, there will be times to erase and start over. Even so, may it be the spectacular adventure you’ve always dreamed of.
In fact, Natasha Beddingfield said it best.
Have you ever had a day, a week, or a year where it took everything just to keep going? What made you keep fighting? Leave your thoughts in the comments below, and together, we can keep each other moving.